To Do List

So, I was thinking today. I know you’re saying to yourselves, “Oh no. Kate’s been thinking again. What now?” Just kidding…at least, I hope so.

Anywho, so I was thinking that I haven’t really been fighting the Good Fight lately; more like watching from the sidelines. I have also been somewhat less than proactive in my own attempts to be happy. Basically, I haven’t tried very hard to make myself happy, or tried to let God lead me to happiness. I’ve just been…letting whatever happen. Now, my general philosophy is to “live and let live.” I don’t think I have a problem with the “let live” part of that, it’s the “live” I am letting slide by. At least, living fully anyway. To do this, I’m pretty sure I need some divine intervention as well as some personal reformation. The first thought, that came to my head was that I should pray about it; not only that, but I should pray more often than I do. Say, every day instead of once in a blue moon (I’m not counting prayers led at church, devo, etc.). Well, if I want to start to pray every day, I should find a way to remind myself, right? I got out some paper (yellow paper, actually) and a marker (red sharpie, of course) and I made a To Do list; item number one: Pray. Well, I looked at my list, and I thought, “Well that seems insubstantial. It’s an excellent start, for sure, but I believe there is more to it.” So, I started adding some other items to the list that I believe are important. In the end, I had ten things To Do. As usual, I believe my goals are more likely served by making myself accountable to others, so here is my list, for your review and critique. The items are not in any order of importance because I felt that although some were more important than others, several held equally important places for me.

1. Pray. I don’t pray on my own very often, for others or for myself. I know that I should pray more often, but I have a hard time. For me, it often has the dual effect of making me feel a bit better, but at the same time, I rarely feel like God has provided me with any answers. I don’t expect God to hand me a solution every time I ask a question or I ask for help, but I also know that I am blinded by my minimal relationship with him, and I want to correct that. I would love to have the kind of relationship with God that I feel like many of you have.

2. Read. Read a lot. Read the Bible and Vonnegut and Rowling and Shakespeare and Tolkien and Morrison. Read fiction and nonfiction; whatever interests you, inspires you, and makes you question. As I’m sure you have noticed, I not only love to read, I think that reading is an important way to learn about others, yourself, your world, and how to express yourself in an articulate and informed manner. If I love to read so much, I’m sure you are wondering why I felt the need to put it on the list. Well, when I thought about prayer, I recalled a talk that I had with Amanda one time. She told me that when she prayed, she often got her answers from God through scripture. I honestly don’t read the Bible very often (again, I don’t count church, etc.); I am too distracted by other things in life. I do believe that all literature is beneficial and that I can find God even where you least expect Him, but I need to read God’s Word more often.

3. Respect. I know that I have said in the past that showing respect/courtesy is, in my opinion, the most important way to successfully deal with people. I also feel that I am fairly good at it, at least as far as others are concerned. I need to show more respect for God and for myself. As I said before, I don’t have the kind of relationship with God that I want, and I believe that I have disrespected Him by not cultivating it. I also have the tendency to be really hard on myself. Berating oneself has its place, but only to a point. I can change some things about myself and my lifestyle to make me feel better about myself. For some things, however, I must change the way I think about myself. I have learned, to an extent, how to think about myself in positive terms, rather than negative, and I am still learning. I also believe that, if I let Him, God can help me with these changes.

4. Love. Love God, love others, love myself. This goes very much in hand with Respect. I love God, but not like I should. I want to love God, my family, and my friends more actively. I don’t always express myself like I should, nor do I usually go out of my way to make my friends and family feel loved. Fellowship is very important to me and love is the only way to make it grow. I want to love myself more. Have you noticed how hard it is to love yourself? Not in a narcissistic, egotistical, obsessive, I can’t stop looking at my reflection way; but truly loving yourself for who you are, no matter what. See the last clause of the final sentence of item number three.

5. Forgive. God’s forgiveness and grace is actually the basis for my “live and let live” theory of life, but I am not perfect. I have been known to hold grudges and generally be stubborn. Letting go of some of that animosity would be good for me, as well as learning to avoid letting grow in me in the future. I also have to remember to forgive myself when I screw up. Again, this goes hand in hand with Respect and Love; and, again, refer to the last seven words of number three.

6. Reflect. Reflection is an integral part of learning. Whether you are learning about God or the culture of rural Mali, reflection allows you to organize you thoughts and draw conclusions. Reflection is more than just an academic exercise. It is intellectual, spiritual, and emotional. It allows you to learn from many people, places, and experiences. I firmly believe that there is something to be learned everyday, both in and out of the classroom. I learn from textbooks as well as from bouncing checks, and I try not to limit myself by limiting what I view as valuable and educational.

7. Follow. Following is very important. I should follow God more than I do, especially after I ask for his help. It’s very rude to ask for advice and then ignore your advisor. I should follow my wiser parents, family members, and friends. I’m not very good at following. I prefer to walk on my own two feet or lead the way, but there are innumerable advantages to following the lead of others who are smarter than me.

8. Speak. I am not always very good about expressing myself, nor am I good at asking for help. I need to work on speaking up for myself, and seeking the help I need, rather than hoping it will fall into my lap.

9. Act. Go forth and do something. Blaze a trail for myself. This is sort of the same problem as not speaking. I need not only to open my mouth, but to walk forward.

10. Lead. This is the only item that is in order of importance. I think that of all of these things, leading is the least important. Leading is important, but I feel that I must be accomplished in many of the things above to do it well. However, I like to lead, and I feel that I am good at it. I want to become a person that leads by example as well as a person who actively leads. I think that leadership is good for me. It helps me grow personally as well as a member of a community.

Well, that’s the list. Some of these things I do, but I could probably do them better. Some of these things I don't really do at all. I’m sorry this is so long, but I wanted to explain myself well. Please, don’t hesitate to comment if you have suggestions or opinions. Also, please pray for me; I really want and need your support. Thanks!

“Heaven helps those who help themselves.”

“My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

His oath, his covenant, his blood,
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

On Christ the solid rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand,
all other ground is sinking sand.”
~ William B. Bradbury, “My Hope is Built on Nothing Less,” first verse, third verse, and chorus.

What to do? What to do?

I feel like I am so behind. I haven't checked anyone's blog in at least three weeks...I've missed so many valuable thoughts. Oh well, life goes on.

I'm sure I'm going to regret this, but I am really ready for school to start. I don't like not having a schedule, and I am eager to BTHO another semester. I am also really excited about Sarah's engagement, and Amanda's in-the-near-future engagement--let the wedding planning commence! Personally, I think that y'all should hire magicians to entertain at your receptions. You can't go wrong with magicians.

I'm not sure what to do about extra-curricular activities this semester though. I don't want to do GUIDE anymore because I didn't like the direction it was going last year. It is still a great organization, but I don't think that it is a good organization for me anymore. I am more active in Aggies for Christ now, but I would like to do something outside of that. I am thinking I might check out the Aggie Book Club. I also need to get some pharmacy experience, and a professional organization or just doing some volunteer work on my own would be a good use of my time. My coworker, Meagan, has also put forth another possible option for me; she wants to start a Model UN at A&M. I'm thinking, "I like to argue. Why not?" The only thing about participating in this adventure, is that starting a new organization from scratch could potentially be a major time committment. I'm sure I could handle it though. Anyone care to go to MSC Open House with me?

"Some people make things happen, some watch things happen, while others wonder what has happened." ~ Proverb

Epiphany of Attitude

Okay, so it has been a while since I last posted anything, but I had a very interesting thought on Monday. Here's the story...

This week I had a stupid moment; I forgot to go pay the rent. Hell. It was due on the fourth, and I got a notice on the sixth that I needed to pay it. Crap. Well, by this time I had accumulated a lovely $65 in late fees. Damn. Long story short, I am an idiot. The next morning, I went and paid my rent. Stupid, stupid, stupid. End of story.

Well, in the infamous words of Paul Harvey, here's "the rest of the story..."

I'm sure most of you have noticed by now, when I do something stupid, I get mad. By and large, I am angry with myself for doing whatever idiotic thing that I have done. Of course, this was also true for the aforementioned inanity. Well, about ten minutes into my self-berating, I interrupted myself with two thoughts.

Thought #1: “Katy, it happens!”

Well, I was a bit taken aback. I could not argue with this, and my sensible side took advantage of my stunned silence to say this:

Thought #2: “Why are you going to let this one mishap, that you cannot do anything about, ruin an otherwise good day? Seriously, why?”

I just lost an argument, with myself.

I know, I know. This is not really an original thought, but it is true. Why should I be miserable and beat myself up over something as trivial (albeit expensive) as late rent? What’s done is done. There is no use in crying over spilled milk. So, I wrote the check and, with a bit of effort, put it out of my mind. You know what happened then? I was happy! I then proceeded to carry on with the rest of my perfectly good evening. End of story (for real this time).

Moral of the story: I can choose my mood. As I said before, there is no great revelation here; no novel epiphany. It is simply something that I would do well to remember in the future, and I thought it might be a good reminder for everyone else as well. Later days!

"I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude." ~ Unknown

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." ~ Maya Angelou

Sometimes, I Hate Being The Weird One

Why can't I just be really excited about the things that my parents want me to be excited about? That would make life so much simpler…

I guess you have no idea what I'm talking about. Allow me clarify my dilemma. I don't want to go to pharmacy school. I want to go to graduate school and get my PhD in psychology. I don't really enjoy chemistry or biology of any kind. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either. That is also how I feel about pharmacy. I like that it is a stable job that pays well, but other than that I don't have any strong feelings about it. I could do it, but I don't really enjoy it. Even when I did my pharmacy tech training in high school, I was bored. I didn't look forward to it, and I couldn't wait to get done when I was in the pharmacy. I started Texas A&M as a chemistry major because it would have been a really good degree to have to do the things that I thought I might want to do...forensics, pathology, veterinary medicine, or pharmacy. Since then, however, I have found that I don't want to do any of those things. I don't like lab, which effectively eliminates forensics or pathology and I don't really want to go to vet or pharmacy school.

On the other hand, the only other major I could ever really see myself in before I went to college was psychology. I always thought that it would be interesting, but I didn't really think that I would be good at any psychology related profession and my dad thinks it's stupid. Upon deeper self-reflection, I think that I might be good a good psychologist after all. I've always been really interested in why people act and think the way that they do. Classes like psychology, anthropology, and literature always get me thinking; I think that is why they are so easy for me. I go away thinking about them, so I never totally forget what the teacher was talking about. Physical sciences rarely have that effect on me; everything either is or isn't, there is no interpretation, no maybe. I still don't have to work as hard as a lot of people do, but the information tends to get lost in the dusty, untouched corners of my mind. I recognize that psychology doesn't generate the highest paying jobs or the most guaranteed jobs, but I believe that it is a beneficial one and, for me, a subject that I truly enjoy.

Here is the hard part: I need to talk to my parents about this. I don't think that they are going to like it. They let me change my major to psychology, but I told them that I could still go to pharmacy school. I was excited about pharmacy school for a while, but I always had that thought in the back of my mind reminding me why I didn't want to do it in the first place. I think I really only ever wanted to do it because that's what my parents want me to do. All they ever really saw in high school were the good grades; I am perfectly capable of doing almost anything. What they don't see is all the thinking and analyzing that I do in my head. I don't talk to them about all of those things that I think about because every time that I share something like that with them I get picked on for it and they give me this look like I've lost my mind. I don't think that they are trying to be mean, but it bothers me that they treat my interests as if they are a joke. So I just don't talk about it.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with this, I would love to hear them. Pleaseandthankyou!

"If God had wanted me otherwise, he would have created me otherwise." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Debateable Subjects of the Most Mundane Kind

I am sure you have all been wondering what I have been up to lately, or maybe not, but I am going to tell you anyway. I haven’t done anything of particular note, so I am just going to give you the highlights of the last three weeks or so.

A while back, I took my first political science test and I have not been to that particular class since then. Mostly because I am lazy, but also because the professor is an ass, pardon my language. Actually, I did not even look up my test grade until early this morning. I was surprised to find that I did not do well. I did great! I got a 102 and tied for the second highest grade in my class. Whoop!

Truth be told, I was quite ecstatic last Friday because my friend Holly called me to see if I wanted to go to a movie. You have no idea how pleasantly shocking that was. We went to see He’s Just Not That into You. I didn’t agree with everything that they said, but it was a good movie. It was funny and had a satisfying ending, in my opinion. I also randomly decided to try making chicken and dumplings that night. They weren’t perfect, but they were pretty tasty. Yum!

Last night was also pretty fun. My GUIDE fish, Valerie, came over after the meeting and we made brownies and watched Amelie. Despite the fact that it is in French, and we had to read subtitles the entire movie, it was really good. It looks weird, and it is. But it kind of reminds me of Moulin Rouge. Funny, awkward, romantic, odd, and with a good message to top it all off; I recommend it for adventurous souls.

I have also been periodically debating with a philosopher friend of mine (yes, the very same, if you know what I am talking about) and a couple of other friends from church on Facebook about the nature of bliss. He also posted a very good note about introverts today. I recommend that all of you read it. If you are an introvert, it will strike a chord with you, and it will help you understand yourself a bit better. If you are an extrovert, it will help you understand any introverted friends that you might have, myself included. I commented on it, so you should be able to find it on my wall (it is called “The Introvert”).

The best part of the last month for me has been the reading. I have had the opportunity to work on my reading list that is posted on Facebook. Two weekends ago, I read The Great Gilly Hopkins, Summer of my German Soldier, and Blood and Chocolate. I sort of inadvertently chose three books with similar themes here; they all make very important statements about love, beauty, and acceptance, but I won’t bore you with an analysis. I have been slowly working my way through Grimm’s Fairy Tales as well, but since the stories are short, I read them when I don’t have time to read novels. Last Monday, I ordered four new books, so I have something new to read. Currently, I am reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. It is beautifully written, funny, and romantic, but it is not for the faint of heart. If you decide you might want to read it, be sure to read a good synopsis of it first, and then decide. I also find it a bit frustrating because the author uses a lot of French phrases. I don’t speak French. If anyone has the time, ability, and inclination to translate for me, I would be most appreciative.

Well, aside from school, work, and the usual activities, this is my life of late. I hope you have enjoyed it. Thanks and Gig’em!

"If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Eureka!

Eureka! I have found it, and by "it" I mean the secret to a perfect Valentine's Day weekend. Here's the trick...forget it's Valentine's Day. I ignored the "holiday" and had an exceptionally nice Saturday instead. This is my recipe for a perfect V-day...

Step one is breakfast. The most important meal of the day, sadly, is usually under appreciated due to busy schedules and those pesky morning classes. A Saturday at home with no particular plans is the perfect opportunity to both sleep late and have fresh scrambled eggs with ham, peppers, onions, potatoes, and cheese. There were also thumbprint cookies. Let's face it, that is a real Happy Meal.

Step two: pamper yourself. Do something just for you. Personally, I went the new haircut route. I love getting a good haircut. It does wonders for my sense of self; it's like some of my burdens go away with the excess hair.

Step three is shopping. I know you were wondering when this would appear. My mom and I went and looked around at Dillard's and Sears for a while. After that we met my grandmother at Cavender's. New shoes are great, that's a given, but new boots are even better. Also, there's not much that compares to finding a perfect pair of blue jeans.

Step four involves and evening with family and/or friends. We had a birthday party for Maw Maw, Paw Paw and Lottie. There was steak, potatoes, mushrooms and cherry pie...perfect. After my grandparents went home, my parents, aunt, uncle and cousins watched Tombstone and toasted in front of the fire. All in all it was a lovely evening.

So, you see, I managed to get through the entire Valentine's Day weekend without any trauma or drama. All I had to do was go on with life as usual. I felt just as loved as the day before and the day after, and I was perfectly happy without it. Moral of the story: Valentine's Day is stupid. It does nothing more than cause grief (for both the attached and singles) and make money for Hallmark and Hershey. If we need a special holiday to show love to our family, friends, or lovers then there is something seriously wrong with this society. That was my rant, sorry if you are offended. Actually, I'm not really, so try not to be too upset.

Fishin' in the Dark

I went fishing today. That may not sound like much of an accomplishment, but for someone who hasn't been fishing in about ten years, it was an event. I wasn't very good; in fact, I actually did more of what Amanda calls "pole castin'" since I couldn't even cast my pole correctly. I had tons of fun though! Here's how the adventure went...

When Kendra and Amanda go fishing, they go out to our friend Steven's residence. He lives about fifteen minutes outside town (kind of like I do at home) and there is a stock tank out there full of catfish and perch. First, however, Kendra had to bribe Steven into letting us come out. This, of course, led to the making of homemade cinnamon rolls at midnight on Thursday night. This, as always, was fraught with misadventure, but cooking just isn't the same if everything goes as planned. The rolls turned out well in the end, and we even had a sampling that night.

Well, Friday evening, we rendezvous at Kendra's, and load up poles, tackle boxes, cinnamon rolls, icing (which Kendra had dyed purple for some inexplicable reason), Girl Scout cookies and people. Then, we head to Jonathan's house to pick him up. Jonathan uses a wheelchair, so we had to unload and reload into his van before proceeding to Steven's place. We were so close to having everything go without a hitch when Dex realized that there was not much gas in the van, and we needed to stop. Being the directionally challenged group that we are, we went all the way to Navasota to get gas, rather than going to the closest gas station.

An hour after leaving, we finally get to Steven's. We have our cinnamon rolls and some laughs and then head to the tank. Everybody gets their poles baited and then the mayhem begins. Jonathan, Dex, and Steven all caught fish at the same time, but Steven's swallowed the hook and I had to jump on it and put it out of it's misery (as a result, I now have fish residue on the bottom of my shoe). I threw out about six casts and never even got my hook in the water, so I gave up and just enjoyed the outdoors and the entertainment.

Amanda has been having a hard time catching anything lately, and it didn't look promising when the first thing that she caught was a misplaced sock. When she did finally catch a nice catfish, she didn't want to touch it and made Steven get it off of her pole. Of course, this opened her up for all sorts of ridicule, and Steven ended up whacking her in the face with her own fish...no lie, it was pretty hilarious! She then curled up and went to sleep right there on the ground.

At one point, Kendra caught a big catfish and as she and Steven were unhooking it, they started a very comical fish fight. Kendra got the fish, threw it at Steven, and hit him square. It was actually very impressive. Of course, Steven now had possession of the fish, and threw it at Kendra. During her effort to escape, she ran away, tripped over a branch, and fell down. On the bright side, she avoided being hit with the fish until Steven fish slapped her on the way back to the tank. They then proceeded to throw the traumatized fish back into the tank.

No one caught anything after that. We think we may have been catching the same fish repeatedly all evening, and after swallowing one hook and being used as a weapon it had had enough. So we loaded up and took everyone home, which did not take an hour the second time around, although there were some funny challenges along the way. All in all, it was certainly an exciting evening, and I was glad to have it. All of that laughter just puts me in a good state of mind and I always feel so relaxed afterwards. Just goes to show that laughter really is the best medicine.

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing in my life has ever had quite the impact on me than weeklong trips with Aggies for Christ. AFC weeklongs are held the final week of Christmas break every January. We load up in buses, suburbans, and caravans of our own vehicles and head out to various children's homes in Texas and Oklahoma. I returned from one such trip a couple of weeks ago.

The Tipton Children's Home in Tipton, OK isn't particularly striking when you look at it. There are a few old buildings that serve as offices, storage rooms, and recreational facilities. There are also a handful of large cottages; it is the souls inside the cottages that are most striking. The house parents are truly amazing. Each couple cares for four to eight children on a daily basis, and they do so with love, patience, and grace. From the moment you cross the threshold, it is obvious that God's love fills every cottage from floor to ceiling. The kids are incredible. Many of them have experienced hardships that we cannot even fathom, yet they carry on with more courage and fortitude than any storybook hero.

Although the parents and children at Tipton have had an impact on me, it is the people that I traveled with that have truly touched my life. The decision to go on the Tipton trip was made through a series of somewhat humorous misadventures on my part, and there were only a couple of people going that I really knew. Naturally, I had to meet new people and get to know some previous acquaintances better. On the way to Tipton, I stayed with Holly and Jessica. I already knew Jessica, and Holly and I hit it off almost immediately; we had a lot of fun together before we got to Tipton. Once we arrived at Tipton, I ended up staying in the same cottage with Holly (who I had just met), Kendra (who I sort of knew already), Amanda (didn't know her), and Rebekah (an acquaintance). I must admit, I was a little nervous because Kendra, Holly, and Amanda are good friends and I didn't know Rebekah that well; with my reputation for being seemingly transparent, I was afraid that I would end up getting ignored (unintentionally, of course) all week. As it turned out, my fears were unjustified...all of them were welcoming and we all got pretty close over the week (course, its hard not to when there are five girls, one room, one bed, and one shower...). I found myself feeling extremely comfortable with these four girls, in a way that I have not really felt since I left my girls back home.

Now, in order, for you to really understand this, you have to know how I relate to and feel about my hometown girls: Amanda, Sarah, Natalie, Erica, Linley, and Whitney. Of course, I have other friends from home, but none of them are as near to my heart and vital to my soul (or my sanity, for that matter) than these six. Let's see now, where to begin? Ah, I know...

Amanda: Amanda has pretty much been my best friend since all of our friends started dating...except us. Needless to say, we felt a bit like losers, but at least we could be losers together. Our relationship is incredibly harmonious. Amanda has an extreme dislike for conflict, and, as I have mentioned before, I don't really argue with anyone that doesn't argue back. We simply lean on each other and give a little ego boost whenever its necessary. Amanda also has a very admirable personality; she is self-sacrificing, intelligent, and of high character. Her example reminds me to act in a manner that is appealing to God and others.

Sarah: Sarah has been my friend since kindergarten...kindergarten! Eventually, Sarah and I became the co-rulers of our group. We are both strong, opinionated young women with a knack for organizing and a will to lead. Naturally, we clash on occasion, but this is my favorite part of our relationship...sort of. To me, Sarah's most attractive trait isn't so much that she will argue with me, but that she always forgives me. No matter how mean I get, she never holds it against me. For all that we have in common, our differences make us a great team that can tackle any problem.

Natalie: Natalie and I share a love of water and winter sports, but we mostly spend our time beating each other up. Natalie always make me laugh with her antics and her tantrums. If I am not laughing at her, I am usually trying to keep her out of trouble with her parents or explaining something that I just said. Nat is loads of fun to hang out with and unconditionally lovable. She can almost always make me smile, and even if she can't she will be grumpy with me.

Erica: I love Erica's sense of style and her laugh is contagious. She always has a smile on her face and a matter-of-fact attitude that meshes well with my own. We also share a mischievous streak that has led to some hilarious occurrences.

Linley: Linley puts her heart into everything that she does, letting her creativity show her love. When she needs gifts for us, she spends countless hours making them. Linley is the "historian" of the group, always taking pictures so that we remember the good times.

Whitney: Truth be told, Whitney was not really a close friend in high school, but she has kind of taken the place of one of our friends that drifted away. She is so full of fun and life, and absolutely fun to hang out with. She is also a picture fan and lots of style. As much as I love them, I really wish that I knew Linley and Whitney better than I do; they are so sweet, gifted, and a joy be around.

As you can see, these girls are my lifeblood. I can tell them anything and I don't have to worry about making an idiot of myself when I am with them. I can be smart, silly, dramatic, quiet...I can show anything I feel with them; there are no judgements and they always support me. They are my safe place to go home to, and I love them for it. When I was at Tipton over the break, I felt almost as secure as I did back home. I never felt judged or like I needed to hide myself. I really hope that these new relationships grow strong and last. I need some of that security here with me now...you can never have too much help. I know it doesn't usually seem so, but I, like so many others, am really just trying to find my place in life. I don't know where I belong yet, or what the future holds for me, but I am anxious to find out.

"A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably." ~ William Penn

The Roots of My Reverie

Honestly, I'm not sure what has inspired me to create this blog. My life in generally uneventful, and I really don't know what I will write. I will probably end up using this as an outlet for my ranting and the arguments that I have with myself and others. I like to argue, in case you don't already know. In fact, I will quite literally argue about anything. My mother and I once argued over the color of tennis balls...seriously. She has stated, more than once, that I would argue with a fence post that could not talk back. I disagree (no surprise there). I will not argue with people who do not argue back--it is no fun whatsoever.

Anyway, I seem to have gotten off-track. My posts will probably seem random most of the time, but I am an avid daydreamer so my thought process may or may not be conjoined with reality. Feel free to take an interest or ignore me. I like feedback, so comments are welcome.

In reality I am simply a struggling college student. I go to class (most of the time), study (unless I can avoid it), and work (someone has to pay for the electricity). I am currently single, and I have only been in one relationship in my life (which was a flop). I have also struggled to develop new friendships at college. My best friends are still the girls that I hung out with in high school. That isn't really a bad thing, but I often wish that I had someone close at hand that I could really confide in. Now you know why I am a daydreamer...reality is often boring at best and painful at worst.

Now, once I cross the borders of reality, life is more interesting. In my head, I am confident, beautiful, and heroic. I can do anything I please. Don't get me wrong, fantasy Kate is by no means perfect. There are things that I like about myself in reality which have become integral parts of fantasy Kate; these traits however, like so many things in life, have pitfalls as well as charms. Fortunately, I do not believe in perfection because it is both undefinable and unattainable. However, fantasy Kate's imperfections are ones that, for the most part, I have learned to manage, so they rarely cause me grief.

The best thing about fantasy is the unending adventure. I can always find something to satisfy my inner adventurer. Every book, movie, TV show and song has the potential to add to my reverie. I have an excellent grip on reality, but it is the world in my head that generally keeps me entertained.

Well, for now, I will cease my rambling, but don't be a stranger. Stay tuned for more musings, and I will try my best to be entertaining.