Sometimes, I Hate Being The Weird One

Why can't I just be really excited about the things that my parents want me to be excited about? That would make life so much simpler…

I guess you have no idea what I'm talking about. Allow me clarify my dilemma. I don't want to go to pharmacy school. I want to go to graduate school and get my PhD in psychology. I don't really enjoy chemistry or biology of any kind. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either. That is also how I feel about pharmacy. I like that it is a stable job that pays well, but other than that I don't have any strong feelings about it. I could do it, but I don't really enjoy it. Even when I did my pharmacy tech training in high school, I was bored. I didn't look forward to it, and I couldn't wait to get done when I was in the pharmacy. I started Texas A&M as a chemistry major because it would have been a really good degree to have to do the things that I thought I might want to do...forensics, pathology, veterinary medicine, or pharmacy. Since then, however, I have found that I don't want to do any of those things. I don't like lab, which effectively eliminates forensics or pathology and I don't really want to go to vet or pharmacy school.

On the other hand, the only other major I could ever really see myself in before I went to college was psychology. I always thought that it would be interesting, but I didn't really think that I would be good at any psychology related profession and my dad thinks it's stupid. Upon deeper self-reflection, I think that I might be good a good psychologist after all. I've always been really interested in why people act and think the way that they do. Classes like psychology, anthropology, and literature always get me thinking; I think that is why they are so easy for me. I go away thinking about them, so I never totally forget what the teacher was talking about. Physical sciences rarely have that effect on me; everything either is or isn't, there is no interpretation, no maybe. I still don't have to work as hard as a lot of people do, but the information tends to get lost in the dusty, untouched corners of my mind. I recognize that psychology doesn't generate the highest paying jobs or the most guaranteed jobs, but I believe that it is a beneficial one and, for me, a subject that I truly enjoy.

Here is the hard part: I need to talk to my parents about this. I don't think that they are going to like it. They let me change my major to psychology, but I told them that I could still go to pharmacy school. I was excited about pharmacy school for a while, but I always had that thought in the back of my mind reminding me why I didn't want to do it in the first place. I think I really only ever wanted to do it because that's what my parents want me to do. All they ever really saw in high school were the good grades; I am perfectly capable of doing almost anything. What they don't see is all the thinking and analyzing that I do in my head. I don't talk to them about all of those things that I think about because every time that I share something like that with them I get picked on for it and they give me this look like I've lost my mind. I don't think that they are trying to be mean, but it bothers me that they treat my interests as if they are a joke. So I just don't talk about it.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with this, I would love to hear them. Pleaseandthankyou!

"If God had wanted me otherwise, he would have created me otherwise." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche